


Diplomacy and Bruises and A Very Gay Pidge

by HungryLibrary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/F, Fluff, coran tries teaching an earthing via the Altean Method, its amazing pidge survives, pidge trying to be a Good Girlfriend, the altean method involves asskicking, tired allura
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 21:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15894078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HungryLibrary/pseuds/HungryLibrary
Summary: Allura is getting Stressed because of politics. Pidge notices. Pidge herself is about as useful when dealing with the delicacies of diplomacy as a brick to the face. Which is to say, occasionally very useful, but mostly Not.For the sake of her space princess girlfriend she decides it's about time that changed.





	Diplomacy and Bruises and A Very Gay Pidge

Allura sighed as the Magorian ambassador stormed off.

“… You are hereby banned from talking to people we don’t want to insult.”

“But they were _wrong!”_ Pidge hissed, tossing up her hands in exasperation.

“We’ve got mountains of data on what’s causing the alloy scarcity- It’s got nothing to do with the actual rescoures! It’s just them buying out mines and then shutting them down to jack up prices!”

“Yes.” Allura massaged at her forehead. “And I was saying precisely the same thing to them a few minutes ago.”

The Green Paladin stared at her.

“What. When? How? I thought you guys were just talking about Magorian cuisine.”

Allura chuckled as she dropped her hand. Blue eyes twinkled fondly as Pidge’s mind went into visible analysis overdrive.

“We were and we weren’t. It was something of an allegory…”

Pidge made a face. “Until I butted in.”

Allura’s shoulders rose and fell in a faint shrug. “Until you very bluntly pointed out the truth, yes.”

Glancing over at the huddled group of Magorians, Pidge watched as the piss off aliens paused their mutterings just long enough to send her a glare. Although already short by most standards she got the distinct feeling of shrinking were she stood.

“I’m sorry.” Hesitantly she looked up at Allura, Voltron’s lead diplomat, aka the one who’d have to deal with this mess now.

“Would saying ‘sorry’ to them too help at all?”

Allura wave a hand dismissively.

“It would only put them in a stronger position. Actually, your outburst makes my suggestions look much more moderate in comparison, particularly since they must know many others here share your view of things. Hmm.”

Her eyes turned thoughtful.

“Yes… I can probably use this.”

“I bet you can.” Pidge patted her encouragingly on the back. “Just, sorry again for uh, being honest with guests.”

Allura smirked. “A very dire breech of decorum. Don’t worry about it too much, okay?”

Pidge mustered up a crooked smile.

“I’ll try not to. But I’m taking your talking ban to heart.”

“That… might not be a bad idea.”

 

* * *

 

 

Not talking turned out to be pretty easy at a party like this.

All Pidge had to do was pick a spot near a wall and mimic Keith who was doing the same at the other end of the room- It was like deploying a little force field. No one wanted to bother a Paladin of Voltron who looked like she was busy reliving some epic battle.

 _Hmm,_ Pidge thought to herself as she made sure to squint stoically into thin air. _I wonder if the weird purple not-cookies here taste different from the weird yellow ones…_

 

* * *

 

She’d just decided to do a snack food experiment when she was grabbed from the side.

“I need you to discuss battleship commissions with the principle leader of Len Yuoefha.” Allura whispered without moving her lips or breaking her polite smile.

“Exactly what you say isn’t important, just speak your mind and feel free to bring up any points you deem noteworthy.”

Pidge blinked in confusion but let herself be steered into the crowd.

“Didn’t you _just_ ban me from talking to people here? Or do you want me to accidentally insult them? Again?”

“The latter, and very much so.” 

Nodding to a group of diplomats Allura surreptitiously resettled the formal green cloak thrown over Pidge’s Paladin armor, tugging restlessly at the cord of gold braid.

“The principle leader of Len Yuoefha is a fool who needs to be made to feel as such.” She confided quietly. “Preferably _before_ they start a war with anyone else here.”

“So…” Pidge took the cue and made and effort to stand straighter and eek as much of an impression as she could out of her five foot one figure. She wished there were more fellow short aliens in the galaxy. “… you want me to start a fight with them first? That doesn’t really sound much better, Allura.”

They stopped to collect fresh drinks form a passing hover tray. Turning to face her the princess allowed a tiny sigh to slip free.

“There won’t be a fight.” Allura promised. “Hohau Yuoefha is a fool but not an idiot. They just need to hear everything laid out plainly and in exacting, undeniable, overwhelming detail. Which is where you come in, I hope.”

“A fool but not an idiot.” Pidge muttered, eyeing the diplomat in question as she pretended to drink.

“Also someone who controls three different star systems…. And you want me to, what, info-dump them into submission?”

There was a distracted hum as Allura took a long sip from her cup.

Glancing over Pidge oticed a strained edge to Allura’s fake smile. Familiar little furrows were starting to pinch between her eyes, the same ones that popped up whenever a battle plan fell apart. Less than two vargas into the supposedly celebratory meeting and Allura already looked like she’d been through a day-long fight. 

Well she didn’t have to fight alone in a those kind of battles. And she sure as hell shouldn’t have to fight alone here.

Turning back to the Yuoefhan group Pidge found her target and locked on. 

“Right then. One overwhelmed interstellar leader coming up.” Offering her arm she flashed Allura a slightly evil grin. ”Mind introducing me to my new victim, your highness?”

Allura smiled. The creases between her eyes smoothed out a little as she tucked Pidge’s arm in hers.

“It would be my _very_ great pleasure to do so, honorary ambassador Holt.”

 

* * *

 

The title had been mostly a joke but the worry in Pidge’s gut decided to take it seriously.

Learning Altean hadn’t been that hard, right? Lingering nightmares and three broken bones aside anyway. How bad could learning diplomacy be?

She regretted everything the moment she saw the sharp glint in Coran’s eye.

 

* * *

 

The staff smacked into Pidge’s helmet like a thunderclap.

“WHAT IS THE SIGNIFIGANCE OF A KAHAKAN APOLOGUIZING TWICE IN THE SPAN OF A SINGLE DOBASH!?”

Coran’s second strike landed while she was still trying to figure out what he’d just said.

“That they’re- Ow! -that they’re really sorry?” Quickly Pidge spun away from the third blow-

“INCCORECT!”

 And slammed straight into Coran’s knee.

“Fuck!”

“IMPOLITE!” _Thwack._ “GRACE UNDER DURESS! CURTESY AT ALL COSTS!” _Wham._ “A KAHAKAN APOLOGUZING TWICE IS THE FIRST SIGN OF AN IMPENDING BLOOD FEUD! HOW DO YOU DEFUSE THE SITUATION!?”

Pidge peeked out from under her raised arms, fear sweat sliding down her face. “A-ask them what’s wrong?”

“WRONG!”

Crash!

She hit the training room wall hard enough to ricochet off and smack face-first onto the floor.

“STAND UP AND TRY AGAIN!”

“Ffff… eeeeghhh….”

 

* * *

 

Allura looked up in concern as Pidge hobbled into the room.

“Having you been sparring?” Abandoning her flock of open data screens Allura hurried over to help her limping girlfriend to bed. “I don’t remember the training schedule changing. Who were you sparring with?”

Pidge collapsed onto the space mattress in achy slow motion.

“Coran.” She grunted. “I’m fine.” She added as Allura peered at her worriedly. “He’s just way too spry for a guy halfway through his sixth century.”

Smiling Allura sat down beside her. “Honestly, it seems you got off lightly.”

A finger brushed at the corner of Pidge’s split lip, cleaning off a spot of dried blood. The touch was so light Pidge didn’t even flinch.

“My father refused to train with him unless either mother or I agreed to be on his side.” Allura reminisced. “I think in his younger years Coran made a habit of challenging anyone he met to a ‘friendly bout’. Perhaps he’s decided to give you all a belated greeting?”

An awkward chuckle bubbled past Pidge’s bruised ribs.

“Ahaha, yeah. Maybe.”

Shutting her eyes she picked the easiest way to avoid Allura’s suddenly curious gaze.

“He was the one who initiated the match, wasn’t he?”

“Hm?”

“You aren’t Keith or Shiro.” Allura went on. “Seeking out unnecessary suffering isn’t in your nature, especially not when you could be working with Hunk or being silly with Lance or keeping me company.”

“Hm-mm.”

There was a sigh and a shift in the bed as Allura laid down. Settling in she curled on her side so she could tuck Pidge’s head under her chin.

“… Pidge.”

“Yeah?”

“Am I going to _like_ this new surprise you are concocting?”

Eyes still shut Pidge smiled.

“Yeah.”

Ignoring her body’s protests she turned over to snuggle properly, dropping a small kiss on Allura’s collar. 

“I think you will.”

 

* * *

 

Over the next few weeks limping became Pidge’s new default way of getting around.

It sucked, but at least bruises could be healed in pod if they really bothered her. Allura’s increasingly frequent headaches, on the other hand…

 

* * *

 

“I want to kill them.”

Slumped over with her head in her hands, it looked like the only thing keeping Allura from keeling over was her elbows propped on the deactivated consol. 

“I want to open up a wormhole to the center of a blackhole and drop them all inside of it. I want to trap them in a room with a recording of Lance’s singing. I want to wake up in an alternate reality where even _one_ of them is willing to talk _common. Sense._ ”

“And _I_ want you to forget them for a second and relax.”

Coming up behind her Pidge draped herself over the stressed out princess’s shoulders and gave her a tight squeeze.

She felt Allura heave a deep sigh. “There is so little time. I can’t…”

Pidge hugged her even harder, sore muscles be damned.

“What you can’t do is focus when you’ve got another stabbing headache hammering away at your brain.”

Allura looked around, startled.

“Yeah I can tell you have one.” Unwinding one arm Pidge poked the deep creases between Allura’s eyes. “Wrinkles look cute on you, but I want to watch you get them naturally, not let a bunch of dumbass politicians dump them on you.”

She gave Allura another poke, more playful this time. “Seeing you like this is gonna start giving _me_ wrinkles.”

The corners of Allura’s mouth twitched up weakly.

“Then for your sake, and in the name of being a good ‘girlfriend’, I suppose I must take a break. But only a short one.”

Biting back a sigh of relief Pidge bumped their heads together gently.

“Guess that's fair. I am a pretty short girlfriend, after all...”

Allura laughed. "You know that's not what I meant!" 

Pidge had to hide a smug grin. _Got you._ "Take a break long enough to actually eat something other than food goo and maybe I'll believe you."

And what could her princess say to that? There were some things not even seasoned diplomats could wiggle out of, not when they were this tired anyway. Lovingly applied Girlfriend Ultimatums were one of them.

"... very well then." Allura gave in. "But just for ONE plate of food, agreed?"

"Sure."

 

* * *

 

Allura dozed off halfway through her first serving of Hunk’s newest snacks.

With a sleepy warm weight on one bruised shoulder and the edge of the rec room couch digging into her side, Pidge knew she wasn’t going to be following her girlfriend into dreamland.

She pulled out her communicator instead and fired off a quick text to Coran, not wanting to wake Allura with the usual video feed.

_‘Can we bump the lessons up to twice a day?’_

Coran answered a few seconds later.

_‘Of course! Provided your Earthing body can survive it!’_

-

-Three weeks of literal torture later-

_-_

Pidge’s head thumped back against the wall. Fluffy hair cushioned the impact but she still let out a small groan of suffering.

“Allura c’mon… You already look great, what’s left to improve?” 

Inspecting herself in the corrective reflector Allura glanced over at Pidge and narrowed her eyes. 

“It’s a pity I can’t trust your judgement in these matters anymore.”

“What?” Straightening up Pidge pushed off the wall and frowned. “Why not?”

Allura looked from her reflection- the battered armor, the curls of singed hair escaping from its bun, various smudges of soot and the start of bruise on her forehead. Then she looked back at Pidge. Very pointedly she raised an eyebrow.

“An Altean lover would never lie and say any of this looks ‘great’.”

Rolling her eyes Pidge crossed her arms in exasperation. “Just because most Earthing’s come from a culture of not insulting their girlfriends-”

“Thus allowing them to make fools of themselves in public.” Allura noted dryly.  

“-and being generally encouraging and supportive of them.” Pidge went on doggedly. “That doesn’t mean we can’t still tell the objective truth about them from time-to-time. For example.” 

Looking Allura over, Pidge scanned her from head to toe.

Sure she saw the beat up armor and dirt and whatever.

She also saw the proud set of Allura’s shoulders under her armor, how most of her neat bun had somehow managed to get through the day without falling completely apart.

(Pidge still thought there was some kind of Altean shapeshifting magic involved there).

And even a bone-tired Allura had a way of wearing her simple circlet that made it look more royal than any gaudy Earth crown.

Maybe it had something to do with the steely light in those blue eyes, or how they burned like ice against the warm brown of her skin. They were eyes that had stared down the galaxy’s worst tyrant without flinching and let you know they’d do it again in a heartbeat.

In conclusion, extremely pretty eyes. Which Pidge didn’t have time to get lost in right now.

The main point was that it all exactly what Pidge had seen when she first stepped into the room.  

“You look great.” She repeated firmly. 

Allura glowered. “I do not.”

“Actually for this meeting, yeah you _do_.”

Allura started to protest again but stopped dead as Pidge cleared her throat. A blush rose in Allura’s face as the Green Paladin pushed her glasses up in just that particular way.

She should have never told Pidge how cute it was when she did that…

“So, we just got out of a really close battle after almost three specolian movements of really close battles.” Holding up a hand Pidge ticked off the points on her fingers.

“You’ve got another three dobashes before you have to meet with the ruler of an isolated planetary system who needs to be convinced of the Galra threat  _before_  they get invaded and go from potential ally to just another place we need to spend time and resources freeing- And the best way to do that is to show how serious this war is, while also reassuring them that you’ve got it under control and we actually have a chance at winning it, so they don’t just panic and surrender to Zarkon.”

Walking over Pidge reached up to tug free another strand of Allura’s hair.

“Considering all that, you look  _perfect_ , okay? Just the right mix of ‘I’m going through hell right now but I’ve also totally got this’.” 

She dabbed at the smudge under Allura’s chin, spreading it out a bit more before brushing another smear across Allura’s left cheek mark.

The touch tingled pleasantly.

Allura’s blushed deepened by a few shades as she tired very hard to hold still. 

“There.”

Settling back on her heels Pidge looked up her girlfriend and nodded in satisfaction. “You can wipe that bit of dirt off as you come through the doors. Good way of showing them you’re making some effort to look presentable for company, even in the middle of a freaking _war_.”

Lifting her hand Allura touched the new smudge, memorizing the spot with fingertips and tracing the hint of heat Pidge had left behind.

Her face lit up with a soft smile. “… Since when did you start to think so politically?”

Pidge shrugged.

“Since I started dating a space princess and realized I’d be a lot more helpful if I knew what the quiznak was going on half the time. Which Coran was terrifyingly happy to give me pointers on, by the way. I could probably write a book by now. In my own blood.”

She shuddered.

“Also, he says I’m still not allowed to actually talk to anyone unless you’re weaponizing me again. Thinking about this stuff ahead of time is one thing, actually doing it in person…”

“Much more trying.” Allura agreed.

Pidge snorted.

“More like absolute _hell._ ”

There was a soft beep as the timer Pidge has set earlier went off.

“One dobash left.” She brought up the holo screen of her armor to double check.

“Yep, they’re right on time too. Guess our little skirmish musta impressed them.” She grinned up at Allura. “Want to head out early, or did my Earthling assessment of ‘perfect’ miss something that needs fixing?”

“You missed nothing.” Allura assured with a laugh. “But there  _is_  something I would like to spend that dobash on.”

Pidge dismissed the holo screen and frowned, puzzled. 

“Uh, sure? What can you do in just one dobash though?”

In answer Allura tucked her fingers under Pidge’s chin and leaned down for a kiss.

Feeling overwhelmed was the new normal these days. Luckily for her, having Pidge by her side was the new normal too.


End file.
